Somewhere In Between

I've been having a really tough time lately, in so many aspects of my life right now. It feels like everything is falling apart around me. I'm drowning in my own fears, and I'm tired of breaking apart. So I try to rely on Christ, and something else comes along and breaks me even farther.

I know that part of this is God trying to completely break me down and teach me to daily walk with Him, and to trust completely in Him. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier for me. I'm not a control freak, but I like to have my feet on solid ground before I do anything. I'm hesitant, and it's so hard for me to step into the unknown. So trusting in God, is a huge step for me. I know that I can trust Him, but it's still so hard, because that would mean that I don't have any control.

I've been thinking all morning about what I'm supposed to do, and how to deal with everything. I tend to run to music in my pursuit for answers or direction. If I don't really know what I'm searching for I will just turn on my Pandora radio stations *insert shameless product plug here -- www.pandora.com* I was listening to a station I designed based off of Safetysuit, and a song by Lifehouse came on, I find it awesome that no matter what I may be thinking, Lifehouse always has a song that fits my mindset and heartbeat. The song was "Somewhere In Between" -- Youtube -- it made me think about life and everything, towards the end it says this, "would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in? Don't be surprised if I fall down at your feet again. I don't want to run away from this, I know that I just don't need this. Cause I cannot stand still, I can't be this unsturdy, this cannot be happening." 

Honestly, thats where I am right now. I'm so tired, and I'm going to fall, and I need to be caught. I'm losing my grip, and i know that He is trying to pry my fingers loose, so that I have to rely on His arms to carry me.

I am trying to trust in Him, trying to trust that he will daily lead me to where I need to go. I am trying, Lord I am trying. I'm longing for Christ to be my everything (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVJqRLU3J0I), but it's going to be a long road for me.