----------------------------------
Can you see me?
In the beauty of this moment
Lost in the wonder of who You are.
You open the skies above
And make the earth beneath me tremble.
The power You control
Makes me fall to my knees
Only so you can lift me up again
Can you hear me?
The call of my broken heart
Seeking to find you in this brokenness.
You open the skies above
And make the earth beneath me tremble.
The power You control
Makes me fall to my knees
Only so you can lift me up again.
Can you love me?
Down on my knees calling out
To come and lift me up when I fall.
Open my life
I need you to take it
Form this heart
Open my life
I need you to take it
Form this heart
------------------------
This little piece was kindof an outflow of emotions and anticipation. I've been contemplating the sensory relationship that I have with my Lord. Sometimes we think that He is so "high and mighty" that our little voice, or our tiny problems don't reach His ears. That is nothing more than a lie that we tell ourselves to make ourselves think that we are alone and that we have to fend for ourselves. LIES! Nothing more than LIES!
My Lord want's nothing more than to wrap his arms around me and lift me to my feet. Brush off the dirt and walk with me. He is never too far away. He is never out of earshot. Even the tiniest whisper doesn't fall on deaf ears. He hears every cry, every plea. All we need to do, all I need to do, is call out and He will listen.
Tuesday
Sunday
shifting
I've been in this really weird place in my head lately, and I'm starting to see myself in a different light. I don't really know how to explain it, other than the fact that I'm ready to move forward, yet I'm also willing to wait.
It's like I know what I want, but I'm not at the point where I'm ready for it, I guess. I've always been the type to rush in and follow my impulses, my heart before I think about it. Not that that is always a bad thing. Sometimes you can't let your head get in the way of your heart... But that only works when your heart is focused in the right direction. I'm finally starting to see my heart is looking in the right direction.
It's been a long time coming, and it's taken a lot of soul searching but I know... I know deep in my heart that my heart would not feel this way if not for a reason.
I can feel my heart shifting, but the more I feel it shift the more I know that it is true. I know that I feel the way I do for a reason. And whatever that reason may be, I am realizing that this is much more than a test. This is a reason to wait. This is a reason to take a deep breathe. This is my heart playing a melody that I have never felt before. And I like it, no, I love it.
It's like I know what I want, but I'm not at the point where I'm ready for it, I guess. I've always been the type to rush in and follow my impulses, my heart before I think about it. Not that that is always a bad thing. Sometimes you can't let your head get in the way of your heart... But that only works when your heart is focused in the right direction. I'm finally starting to see my heart is looking in the right direction.
It's been a long time coming, and it's taken a lot of soul searching but I know... I know deep in my heart that my heart would not feel this way if not for a reason.
I can feel my heart shifting, but the more I feel it shift the more I know that it is true. I know that I feel the way I do for a reason. And whatever that reason may be, I am realizing that this is much more than a test. This is a reason to wait. This is a reason to take a deep breathe. This is my heart playing a melody that I have never felt before. And I like it, no, I love it.
Thursday
Voices
Can you make it all stop
All the voices in my head
Distracting me from the truth
I'm so lost in this sea of stress
My mind is racing
And I can't catch my breath
My world is spinning
I'm waiting for it to fall apart
Like it has over and over again
Can you make it all stop
All the voices in my head
Distracting me from the truth
Every voice that I hear
Is telling me to run
In the opposite direction
I can't tell which way to go
I don't know which voice is Yours
I won't take it anymore
Please Lord
Enter in
And stay with me
Calm my mind
Silence my spirit
Relieve my heart
I'm done trying to do this on my own
I need your voice to drown out mine
And lead me back to the truth that I know
Speak
And let me listen
Move
And let me follow
Touch
And let me feel
Please Lord
Enter in
And stay with me
Lord, stay with me
-----------------------
Have you ever been just so caught up in the hustle of life, and get so distracted by everything around you that it gets hard to hear Him?
I am there right now.
I've got so much going on right now. School isn't going great. Work is stressful. Church is almost overwhelming.
I've taken on so many things, that I'm drowning under all my commitments. There are so many voices that I don't even remember what my own voice sounds like anymore.
Not sure what I'm trying to say, just trying to say that I'm okay. I'm just trying to learn to listen again.
All the voices in my head
Distracting me from the truth
I'm so lost in this sea of stress
My mind is racing
And I can't catch my breath
My world is spinning
I'm waiting for it to fall apart
Like it has over and over again
Can you make it all stop
All the voices in my head
Distracting me from the truth
Every voice that I hear
Is telling me to run
In the opposite direction
I can't tell which way to go
I don't know which voice is Yours
I won't take it anymore
Please Lord
Enter in
And stay with me
Calm my mind
Silence my spirit
Relieve my heart
I'm done trying to do this on my own
I need your voice to drown out mine
And lead me back to the truth that I know
Speak
And let me listen
Move
And let me follow
Touch
And let me feel
Please Lord
Enter in
And stay with me
Lord, stay with me
-----------------------
Have you ever been just so caught up in the hustle of life, and get so distracted by everything around you that it gets hard to hear Him?
I am there right now.
I've got so much going on right now. School isn't going great. Work is stressful. Church is almost overwhelming.
I've taken on so many things, that I'm drowning under all my commitments. There are so many voices that I don't even remember what my own voice sounds like anymore.
Not sure what I'm trying to say, just trying to say that I'm okay. I'm just trying to learn to listen again.
Listening to the melody
I'm siting here
Listening to the melody
The beat of my heart
Pounding through my chest
Searching for its release
This song on my spirit
The ebb and flow of the rhythm
My mind is racing
Searching for words to describe
This overwhelming chorus
The sound becomes overwhelming
The drums crash
The guitars roar
There is such a clatter in my mind
Yet it is such a joyous sound
The sound echoes inside
Can you feel my heart
It is beating in tune with yours
This is not my song
It is yours
You speak to my heart
You usher in a new voice
You conduct this melody
This is where the notes linger
And the voices change
Ringing out this new song that you form
Can you feel my heart
It is beating in tune with yours
This is not my song
It is yours
I offer it as the only thing I can bring
It is all I know
Nothing more than this melody that I hear
The sound of your heart
Speaking to mine
I am here
Not alone
I am here
Not alone
Can you feel my heart
It is yours
It is yours.
Friday
Just a Small Flicker
Have you ever sat and watched a candle flicker in the wind?
Think about that for a second. A small flame. It looks so delicate, but if not controlled it can do great damage. Yet, if you can contain that flame, and use it, what amazing things can be done.
--------------
Flame
Flashing through my body
Making my spirit soar.
This flame that you have created in me
Grows with each passing moment.
Such a small flicker
Can spread into this wildfire in my heart
Burn within me
Burn through this life
Spread like a cleansing fire
And make me new.
This flicker in my soul
Filling my every part.
This flame that you have created in me
Grows with each passing moment.
Such a small flicker
Can spread into this wildfire in my heart
Burn within me
Burn through this life
Spread like a cleansing fire
And make me new.
Burn my heart.
Burn my soul.
Burn my everything.
Make me new.
Make me true.
I want to feel your passion burning through my body.
Burn my heart.
Burn my soul.
Burn my everything.
Make me new.
Make me true.
I want to feel your passion burning through my body.
Think about that for a second. A small flame. It looks so delicate, but if not controlled it can do great damage. Yet, if you can contain that flame, and use it, what amazing things can be done.
--------------
Flame
Flashing through my body
Making my spirit soar.
This flame that you have created in me
Grows with each passing moment.
Such a small flicker
Can spread into this wildfire in my heart
Burn within me
Burn through this life
Spread like a cleansing fire
And make me new.
This flicker in my soul
Filling my every part.
This flame that you have created in me
Grows with each passing moment.
Such a small flicker
Can spread into this wildfire in my heart
Burn within me
Burn through this life
Spread like a cleansing fire
And make me new.
Burn my heart.
Burn my soul.
Burn my everything.
Make me new.
Make me true.
I want to feel your passion burning through my body.
Burn my heart.
Burn my soul.
Burn my everything.
Make me new.
Make me true.
I want to feel your passion burning through my body.
Tuesday
Hand of God
Healing Hand of God - Jeremy Camp
Verse:
I have seen the many faces,
I fear in the pain.
I have watched the tears fall plenty,
From heart ache and strength.
So if life's journey, Has you weary and afraid.
There's rest in the shadow of his wings.
I have walked through the valleys,
The mountains and plains.
I have held the hand of freedom,
It washes all my stains.
If you feel the weight of many trials,
And burdens from this world.
There's freedom in the shelter of the Lord.
Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.
Verse:
I have touched the scars upon His hands,
To see if they were real.
He has walked the road before me,
He knows just how I feel.
When you feel there is not anyone,
Who understands your pain,
Just remember all of Jesus' suffering.
Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.
Bridge:
Cast all your cares on Him,
For He cares for you.
He's near to the broken and confused.
By His stripes,
Our spirit is renewed.
So enter in the joy prepared for you.
Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.
The healing hand of God (x2)
And hold on to what's being held out (x2)
The healing hand of God
Oh Oh Oh Oh
--------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB1i3p-6s7U
So many times we walk through this life with all our worries and burdens. Our frustrations and fears. Our hangups and letdowns. Our pain and strife. These are the things that we carry, and they do is hold us down, and keep us trapped. These things are draining, and we know it; but it always seems so hard to let go of these things. It's such a radical concept to think that those are things that we don't need to carry. It is beyond our understanding to know that someone was willing to take all our burdens from us, free of charge. The only requirement is to accept it. Nothing more. We only need to reach out and take His outstretched hand, and he will lift the burdens and the strife and help us walk.
Can you do that? Can you let go of all your pain? Can you take His hand? -- I think you can. So take a step, open your eyes and reach out.
Verse:
I have seen the many faces,
I fear in the pain.
I have watched the tears fall plenty,
From heart ache and strength.
So if life's journey, Has you weary and afraid.
There's rest in the shadow of his wings.
I have walked through the valleys,
The mountains and plains.
I have held the hand of freedom,
It washes all my stains.
If you feel the weight of many trials,
And burdens from this world.
There's freedom in the shelter of the Lord.
Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.
Verse:
I have touched the scars upon His hands,
To see if they were real.
He has walked the road before me,
He knows just how I feel.
When you feel there is not anyone,
Who understands your pain,
Just remember all of Jesus' suffering.
Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.
Bridge:
Cast all your cares on Him,
For He cares for you.
He's near to the broken and confused.
By His stripes,
Our spirit is renewed.
So enter in the joy prepared for you.
Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.
The healing hand of God (x2)
And hold on to what's being held out (x2)
The healing hand of God
Oh Oh Oh Oh
--------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB1i3p-6s7U
So many times we walk through this life with all our worries and burdens. Our frustrations and fears. Our hangups and letdowns. Our pain and strife. These are the things that we carry, and they do is hold us down, and keep us trapped. These things are draining, and we know it; but it always seems so hard to let go of these things. It's such a radical concept to think that those are things that we don't need to carry. It is beyond our understanding to know that someone was willing to take all our burdens from us, free of charge. The only requirement is to accept it. Nothing more. We only need to reach out and take His outstretched hand, and he will lift the burdens and the strife and help us walk.
Can you do that? Can you let go of all your pain? Can you take His hand? -- I think you can. So take a step, open your eyes and reach out.
Sunday
Car go boom
So I'm realizing that when you jump a curb in the snow, your car takes some damage. :)
Not a smart thing to do. For those of you who enjoy mathematics, I wrote my little excursion out in equation form.
1 curb + 1 car + snow = 1 tire - air (x flattening) + 1 tire - 1 axle (x breaking)
So, yeah... that's what happens. Hooray for snow. Hooray for stupidity. Hooray for dumb luck. Hooray for life!
You can sort of see the tracks from my car in the last picture.
I am realizing through all the junk, if I take the time to listen, He will speak.
Here's what I heard.
--------------------
in Your arms
The snow falls softly.
Quietly covering the world around me.
Leaving a false sense of security
Making you think that nothing could be better
And it leaves everything cold and numb
Yet it effortlessly falls.
The truth of the matter is
That there is nothing more comforting
Than to be wrapped in Your arms.
in Your arms I am free.
in Your arms I am content.
in Your arms I am secure.
in Your arms I am satisfied.
in Your arms I am Yours.
in Your arms the snow starts to melt
And my heart starts to thaw.
This gentle snow
Reminds me of how my sins soon find a way to cover me
They cover me like a security blanket
A blanket that never seems to cover all of me
Reaching and pulling and trying to stretch it to fit
How often I find myself wrapping up
And attempting to winter the storm
When all I need one thing to be wrapped in:
in Your arms.
Friday
More than just words
I'm starting to find myself falling into poetry again. It's been such a long time since I found myself curling up and just letting my heart fall onto the paper.
Let me explain this to those of you who don't know.
My heart speaks in poetry, it speaks in rhythmic timing. My heart beats with the steady flow of the dramatic and the thematic. My veins course with rhyme schemes and methods. I can feel the words before they become thoughts in my head. I feel every piece that I write flow through my body and onto the page. More often than not, my writing seems to be a sub-conscious thing. Half of the time it seems like I don't know what I'm writing until I've written it.
If you've read my post from a week ago Friday, you noticed that I made a huge realization in my life. Through that entire weekend where I had my revelation, I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. See if you can follow my change of heart through the 3 days I was gone.
-----------------
*Take My Eyes* (Day 1)
I'm at the point of moving on
I can feel my heart shifting
Yet my mind is trapped in idle
Stuck on this situation
Lord, help me, take my eyes
And turn them from the beauty I see
and focus my sight on You.
I feel so turned around so often
I need You to show up and be here
Every step seems like a miscalculation
Like I'm searching for fulfillment
In a source outside of Your grace.
I'm at the point of falling down
I can feel my legs failing
Yet I continue to walk on
Pushing forward while my heart seems empty
I'm looking for something in someone else
Lord, help me, take my eyes
And turn them to the beauty in You.
I'm at the point of turning around
Tired of fighting
Tired of searching
Tired of hoping ... for something that is uncertain
Lord, I'm laying my heart at your feet
Take it
Make it
To search after You
To find Your face
In the beauty I see.
----------------------
*Fearless* (Day 1)
Close your eyes
Take a breathe and let it linger
Let your breathe flow from your lips
Let your breathe carry all your worries
Flying far from you
Leaving you free
Leaving you fearless
Can you take a second
And release all your tension
Leave it at my feet
So you can walk forward
Fearless.
Close your eyes
Take a breathe and let it linger
Let your breathe flow from you
Let my breathe fill you up
Leaving you fearless.
----------------------------
*So Tight* (Day 2)
I'm sitting in total confusion
Lost in this distraction
Unwilling to leave my desires
And I feel so unworthy
Because I am buried beneath
Everything that I hold so tight
I know what I should do
Yet here I sit in utter anxiety
I want to let it all go
I want to leave it at Your feet
But my hands hold so tight
To the things of this world
I want to let it all go
But I don't know how
I don't know if I can
I've been holding on so long
It seems like such a part of me now
My desire is taking over
And I hate every moment
That I am distracted from You
My life seems emptier
And I know why
Lord, I need your help
I don't have the strength
To let go of who my heart is crying out for
Lord, I know You are everything I need
But my human-nature craves
To love and be loved
And I know there is a reason
That she is in my life
I only ask that you give me the strength
To move forward and pursue
Or take my heart and wash it clean
And remove this distraction
To relieve my confusion.
---------------------------
*Untitled* (Day 2)
Explain this to me
I am so focused
On not being distracted
That everything within me
Is in total disarray
My world seems so overwhelming
I'm losing focus of everything
My mind is crashing in
And I don't know what to do
So I fall into my coping system
And I wish I didn't have to resort to it
But here I am
Focused on what I tried to leave behind.
--------------------------
*The Absence* (Day 3)
You are changing my soul
And I can see
My heart seems to slowly fade
Into the nothingness around me
This void seems never-ending
But I know this is for my benefit
You are changing my soul
Setting me free
To follow this path
Lord, I want that.
And now I can see Your face
Within this absence
Lord, I want that.
Within this absence
I finally can see
That you are setting me free.
Tuesday
In the silence
Have you ever just closed your eyes, and taken a deep breath, and just let yourself be in the presence of our Almighty and awesome Lord? --- If you haven't done that lately, please stop reading this blog and do that.
Take a second. Take two. And just be. Turn off the noise. Turn out the lights. Quiet your mind. Let your heart speak rather than your head. Take a second and remember the names of our Lord.
Take the first word in this list that makes your heart flutter and think about it. What does that word make your heart say.
--- Lord --- Holy One --- Savior --- Christ --- Adonai --- Elohim --- The Lamb --- Messiah --- Spirit of Truth --- Living God --- Eternal King --- Everlasting One --- Alpha and Omega --- Father --- Protector --- Shepherd --- Almighty --- Immanuel --- Teacher --- Rabbi --- Prince of Peace --- Sacrifice --- Deliverer --- Sovereign --- Jehovah --- Healer --- Provider --- Pierced --- I Am --- Anointed One --- Triumphant --- Faithful --- True --- Bread of Life --- Salvation --- Shelter --- Rock --- Love --- Peace --- Strong Warrior --- Spotless --- Perfect One ---
Think about that word. Think about the images that your heart conjures. Think about the words that your heart speaks. Think about how amazing our Lord is.
Close your eyes. Take a breath. Breathe that word in, and let everything from today wash over your lips when you exhale. Breathe in our Lord and let him fill you up.
Take a moment to be. Stop being so busy and just be still in His presence. You will never be the same once you let Him speak into your silence.
Monday
Out of Darkness
For those of you who don't know. I've been in Nashville since Friday morning, for the National Youth Workers Convention. - Its a gathering place for thousands of youth workers to come together in community, fellowship and to go on a journey of the Spirit together. I've gone to this for the past 3 years; Cincinnatti, St. Lousi and now Nashville. With each year I learn things and grow in my walk, and this year is no different.
For probably about the past year I have been in this funk. It has felt like my God whom I love was absent from me. I felt like I was alone, and reaching out in all the ways that I knew how, and He wasn't there. I felt abandoned. Prayer was unfulfilling. Scripture was dry. Worship was routine. My walk was stuck in idle, and I didn't know what was going on.
Throughout the convention, there are large community "sessions" - that is, times when we all gather together for a "message" from a speaker and worship. As well as smaller seminars about different topics that we deal with as youth workers. They try to make the seminars fit into a series, so that if you are looking to go deeper into a topic ie. middle school, post-high school, theology, whatever. There was a series this year, its available each year, called Soul Care. I went to most of theses sessions, because I thought that maybe my soul wasn't right, and that's why I felt abandoned.
Yesterday afternoon the seminar in the series was taught by Mark Yaconelli, an amazing man in his own right, he spoke about "the Dark Night of the Soul: When God Feels Absent" ---- Could it have been more of a Godsend? I think not.
So I go to this seminar and I'm listening to him speak and everything that he is saying is just resonating in my heart and the deepest parts of my soul. I realize that God has been absent. That sounds weird to say, but it is so true. the dark night of the soul is when God is obscure. When you can't see Him. --- The whole idea of the dark night of the soul, is that this is a time in your life where God is retooling you. He is taking you apart and rebuilding the things in you that He wants. - So often we find ourselves walking in routine. Just "repeating" our practices and we lose focus of that God that we were so in love with. (This is exactly where I am)
He even backed up this idea biblically. Look at Saul. Saul was on a mission. Jesus came upon him and blinded him. While Saul was blind Jesus worked in him, he rebuilt him and made a new creation, Paul.
Even Jesus was in this darkness. On the cross when He took on all our sin he felt as though God had abandoned Him. "My God, my God why have thou forsaken me?"
------
The big kicker is that there is nothing that we can do about it. We cannot free ourselves from the darkness. The only way to get out of this darkness is to Surrender yourself to it, to allow Jesus to rescue me and rebuild me and teach me to love Him once again.
-------
I am so happy to be in the darkness. I'm trusting that He will walk me out the other side a stronger and better man.
For probably about the past year I have been in this funk. It has felt like my God whom I love was absent from me. I felt like I was alone, and reaching out in all the ways that I knew how, and He wasn't there. I felt abandoned. Prayer was unfulfilling. Scripture was dry. Worship was routine. My walk was stuck in idle, and I didn't know what was going on.
Throughout the convention, there are large community "sessions" - that is, times when we all gather together for a "message" from a speaker and worship. As well as smaller seminars about different topics that we deal with as youth workers. They try to make the seminars fit into a series, so that if you are looking to go deeper into a topic ie. middle school, post-high school, theology, whatever. There was a series this year, its available each year, called Soul Care. I went to most of theses sessions, because I thought that maybe my soul wasn't right, and that's why I felt abandoned.
Yesterday afternoon the seminar in the series was taught by Mark Yaconelli, an amazing man in his own right, he spoke about "the Dark Night of the Soul: When God Feels Absent" ---- Could it have been more of a Godsend? I think not.
So I go to this seminar and I'm listening to him speak and everything that he is saying is just resonating in my heart and the deepest parts of my soul. I realize that God has been absent. That sounds weird to say, but it is so true. the dark night of the soul is when God is obscure. When you can't see Him. --- The whole idea of the dark night of the soul, is that this is a time in your life where God is retooling you. He is taking you apart and rebuilding the things in you that He wants. - So often we find ourselves walking in routine. Just "repeating" our practices and we lose focus of that God that we were so in love with. (This is exactly where I am)
He even backed up this idea biblically. Look at Saul. Saul was on a mission. Jesus came upon him and blinded him. While Saul was blind Jesus worked in him, he rebuilt him and made a new creation, Paul.
Even Jesus was in this darkness. On the cross when He took on all our sin he felt as though God had abandoned Him. "My God, my God why have thou forsaken me?"
------
The big kicker is that there is nothing that we can do about it. We cannot free ourselves from the darkness. The only way to get out of this darkness is to Surrender yourself to it, to allow Jesus to rescue me and rebuild me and teach me to love Him once again.
-------
I am so happy to be in the darkness. I'm trusting that He will walk me out the other side a stronger and better man.
Tuesday
White Peaks
Every once in a while, I get to a point in my head where I just have so much going on, and I don't know where to turn. I get so lost in my thoughts that I lose focus and start to question everything. It's something that I've had to deal with my whole life. Whenever I hit a wall, my mind starts swirling with everything and anything. The curse of an analytical obsessive-compulsive with A.D.D.
Anyways, When I get this way I tend to write, or create or do something as my release. I'll grab a notebook and go out into the woods and write, or I'll grab a guitar and disappear for a while and just play some music.
I came across my notebook from early this year, and was looking through it and I cam across this piece, and wanted to share it, because I know that I am not the only person to ever feel like that.
------------------
White Peaks
Suffocating underneath my own ambition
Fighting to find a foothold
On this mountain turned from mole-hill
The weight of my own anticipation
Bearing down on my heart.
I see the white peaks of this mountain
So close yet they seem so out of reach
I can feel the cold air enveloping me
Yet with each breath of air I breathe in
I seem to lose my strength and cannot continue
I've come so far
I can turn around and see
the base of the mountain far beneath me
The truth is evident
But it seems so eventual
That I will fall
That I will lose my grip
And tumble back to where I began
I see the white peaks of this mountain
So inviting yet they seem so imposing
I can feel the cold air enveloping me
Yet with each breath of air I breathe in
I seem to lose my strength and cannot continue
Using what might I have left
To hang on this ledge
My fingers slowly slipping
I can feel the tears in my eyes
Slowly forming
Turning to ice
Freezing before they can fall
Trapped inside
My emotions cannot escape
The cold air of this glorious mountain
Affecting me so
I see the white peaks of this mountain
So inviting yet so imposing
I see the white peaks.
------------------
I think we get so caught up in the things of the moment that we lose focus of the beauty around us.
Let me put this in perspective for you. This piece came out of a time in my life where I was so busy, and so overwhelmed with my life that I was starting to question whether my life was worth living. This life that we live often seems like a roller coaster of sorts. There are always highs and lows. The difference that I see is that on a roller coaster, you tend to climb slowly up to your high and then fly through the lows.. With me, that doesn't ever seem to be the case, I tend to sit and wallow in the lows. I climb up to my highs and then putz through the lows. When I hit my low times, I wallow in self pity, frustration, whatever you name a negative emotion, and i feel it...
Well, I hit this low in early April, and questioned everything. Nothing seemed to be going my way, and that frustrated me. I was just starting to climb my way out. I was dealing with it. And my world came crashing down around me. I was struggling to make ends meet, I was in a relationship that was dragging me down, I was just in the midst of major self-pity. Everything seemed to just spiral out of control.
-----------------
So how often do we find ourselves climbing the mountains of this life, and we are so concerned with finding our footholds, or worried about falling that we forget to look around and see the glory of the moment. The next time that you find yourself climbing a mountain, take a second to see the beauty of the moment.
Sunday
Strumming My Heart Strings
---So I've been sitting here for the past few days with this melody in my head. Not sure what it was, still not sure what it is, but that's beside the point. It's a simple progression, simple melody but for some reason it seems so much more than simple. If it were as simple as it sounds it wouldn't keep me awake at night.
I hear this melody everywhere I go, everything I do I hear it. It is slowly starting to take over my thoughts. This sounds like a problem, but it is so much more than that. Every time I here this pattern, for some reason everything seems to fade into the distance.
Every so often I get a rhythm, or a pattern, or a melody stuck in my head and it sticks around until I play it out.
Well, I played it out and I started hearing words. It's a simple pattern, here's what I've heard so far:
-----------------
Lord, here I am searching
Here, searching for you.
Yet all I find is myself
Waiting for you.
Lord, here I am crying
Here, down on my knees
And all my words fall so short
of calling for you.
-----------------
I just thought I'd put this out there. See what you all think?
I hear this melody everywhere I go, everything I do I hear it. It is slowly starting to take over my thoughts. This sounds like a problem, but it is so much more than that. Every time I here this pattern, for some reason everything seems to fade into the distance.
Every so often I get a rhythm, or a pattern, or a melody stuck in my head and it sticks around until I play it out.
Well, I played it out and I started hearing words. It's a simple pattern, here's what I've heard so far:
-----------------
Lord, here I am searching
Here, searching for you.
Yet all I find is myself
Waiting for you.
Lord, here I am crying
Here, down on my knees
And all my words fall so short
of calling for you.
-----------------
I just thought I'd put this out there. See what you all think?
It is paid
Jesus Paid It All - Kristian Stanfill
I hear the savior say, Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in me thine all in all.
Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
Lord, now indeed I find thy power and Thine alone
Can change the leper's spots and melt the heart of stone
Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
And when before the throne I stand in him complete,
"Jesus died my soul to save" my lips shall still repeat
Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
He washed it white as snow, he washed it white as snow.
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the debt.
-----------------------------------------
This song is one of my absolute favorites.
How often we find ourselves struggling to carry the weight of the world, to carry the weight of our own burdens. When we carry the world, burdens, worries, struggles or whatever; we find that our lives seem dead. We find that our lives have lost something.
So the question is, what are you carrying that you need to let go of? What burden is making you dead on the inside?
It's time to let go. It's time to be free.
The weight you carry, isn't yours to carry. He want's to carry it. He wants to free us from our chains that bind.
So can you let Him? Can you let Him wash away your sin?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brVIlXlJRkQ
I hear the savior say, Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in me thine all in all.
Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
Lord, now indeed I find thy power and Thine alone
Can change the leper's spots and melt the heart of stone
Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
And when before the throne I stand in him complete,
"Jesus died my soul to save" my lips shall still repeat
Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.
He washed it white as snow, he washed it white as snow.
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the debt.
-----------------------------------------
This song is one of my absolute favorites.
How often we find ourselves struggling to carry the weight of the world, to carry the weight of our own burdens. When we carry the world, burdens, worries, struggles or whatever; we find that our lives seem dead. We find that our lives have lost something.
So the question is, what are you carrying that you need to let go of? What burden is making you dead on the inside?
It's time to let go. It's time to be free.
The weight you carry, isn't yours to carry. He want's to carry it. He wants to free us from our chains that bind.
So can you let Him? Can you let Him wash away your sin?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brVIlXlJRkQ
Monday
Kickback and Unwind
Anberlin - The Unwinding Cable Car
Emotive unstable you're like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about
This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived? that you're no better than...
The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You're so brilliant (This is the correlation)
Don't soon forget (Between salvation and love, don't drop your arms)
You're so brilliant (I'll guard your heart)
Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark)
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Don't drop your arms
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
-------------------------------
I would write something about this song... But I think it better for you to think about it yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPOZifPfUsU
Emotive unstable you're like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about
This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived? that you're no better than...
The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You're so brilliant (This is the correlation)
Don't soon forget (Between salvation and love, don't drop your arms)
You're so brilliant (I'll guard your heart)
Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark)
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Don't drop your arms
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
-------------------------------
I would write something about this song... But I think it better for you to think about it yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPOZifPfUsU
Friday
Holy One
Rush of Fools - Holy One
Face to the ground
I'm not proud
Of all You must see
When You look at me
I tremble at first
As You wash the dirt
The dirt from my feet
And I see my need for Thee
Chorus:
You lift me up
Holy One, Holy One
When I but come
You're enough, You're enough
You fill me up
With your love, with your love
To You I run
Holy One, Holy One
All other noise fades away
Like all of the fear
When Your voice I hear
You're beckoning me
To come and just be
A child at Your feet
Seeing my need for Thee
Chorus
You lift me up
Holy One, Holy One
When I but come
You're enough, You're enough
You fill me up
With your love, with your love
To You I run
Holy One, Holy One
You're enough to satisfy
When the the world has left me only dry
Enough to save my life
When the world has left me here to die
Chorus
You lift me up
Holy One, Holy One
When I but come
You're enough, You're enough
You fill me up
With your love, with your love
To You I run
Holy One, Holy One
-------------
This song is just such a beautiful song, and I could write something about it, but the band has a devotion about the song, and I couldn't say it any better. Here it is:
You Wash the Dirt
When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is no greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. I am no speaking of all of you; I know whom I have chosen. But the scripture will be fulfilled, 'He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me,' I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever recieves the one I send recieves me, and whoever recieves me recieves the one who sent me. -- John 13:12-20
Most of us know the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet. And one can imagine that we have taken from this passage the application that we ought to be serving one another, just as Christ did here by leaving us his example to follow. Now while that is an excellent point to be made about this text, it is easy to dig a little deeper into the context of this story to really get the whole picture here. This incredible story tells us more than just to serve one another. It shows the depth of the love Christ: that He made clean those who are dirty. Even though He was the Son of God, he taught us humility in a whole new way.
Yes, Jesus washed His disciples' feet. The same dirty fisherman and good ol' boys that He had spent most of His ministry trying to give some guidance to. The same disciples that would later betray and deny Him completely. Why would He decide to wash the feet of these men? It meant that Jesus was cleaning the feet of men who had no significance to recieve a foot-washing from anyone. And let's also think about this together for a moment. Did Jesus or His disciples wear Nikes or Vans? Um, that's a negative. So do you really think their feet were the cleanest portion of their bodies? Right, negative again. Yet he decided to wash those body parts? Why? To make His point that much clearer. You see, just like their feet, Jesus' disciples were men with dirty hearts. They didn't quite understand completely what Jesus was showing them here. He was displaying the picture that He would have to be the One to make them clean. He had to wash the dirt away from their hearts just as He washed the dirt from their feet. And it's the same with us.
When we think of the price Jesus paid to cleanse us from all our unrighteousness, we tremble in fear. And we should. Once God shows us the depth of our sin and convicts us to repentance, we begin to see how we ought to walk with the humility that Christ did in the text here. The difference is that Jesus was only being the example, because He had nothing to be humble about. He was God then, just as He is now. We, however find ourselves with our faces to the ground when we realize how dirty we are, and how much Jesus had to clean us. And because we have been shown that Jesus has cleansed us just like He did His disciples feet, we see that His open arms are the only ones to run to.
----------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSkPc2gOLlE
Face to the ground
I'm not proud
Of all You must see
When You look at me
I tremble at first
As You wash the dirt
The dirt from my feet
And I see my need for Thee
Chorus:
You lift me up
Holy One, Holy One
When I but come
You're enough, You're enough
You fill me up
With your love, with your love
To You I run
Holy One, Holy One
All other noise fades away
Like all of the fear
When Your voice I hear
You're beckoning me
To come and just be
A child at Your feet
Seeing my need for Thee
Chorus
You lift me up
Holy One, Holy One
When I but come
You're enough, You're enough
You fill me up
With your love, with your love
To You I run
Holy One, Holy One
You're enough to satisfy
When the the world has left me only dry
Enough to save my life
When the world has left me here to die
Chorus
You lift me up
Holy One, Holy One
When I but come
You're enough, You're enough
You fill me up
With your love, with your love
To You I run
Holy One, Holy One
-------------
This song is just such a beautiful song, and I could write something about it, but the band has a devotion about the song, and I couldn't say it any better. Here it is:
You Wash the Dirt
When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is no greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. I am no speaking of all of you; I know whom I have chosen. But the scripture will be fulfilled, 'He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me,' I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever recieves the one I send recieves me, and whoever recieves me recieves the one who sent me. -- John 13:12-20
Most of us know the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet. And one can imagine that we have taken from this passage the application that we ought to be serving one another, just as Christ did here by leaving us his example to follow. Now while that is an excellent point to be made about this text, it is easy to dig a little deeper into the context of this story to really get the whole picture here. This incredible story tells us more than just to serve one another. It shows the depth of the love Christ: that He made clean those who are dirty. Even though He was the Son of God, he taught us humility in a whole new way.
Yes, Jesus washed His disciples' feet. The same dirty fisherman and good ol' boys that He had spent most of His ministry trying to give some guidance to. The same disciples that would later betray and deny Him completely. Why would He decide to wash the feet of these men? It meant that Jesus was cleaning the feet of men who had no significance to recieve a foot-washing from anyone. And let's also think about this together for a moment. Did Jesus or His disciples wear Nikes or Vans? Um, that's a negative. So do you really think their feet were the cleanest portion of their bodies? Right, negative again. Yet he decided to wash those body parts? Why? To make His point that much clearer. You see, just like their feet, Jesus' disciples were men with dirty hearts. They didn't quite understand completely what Jesus was showing them here. He was displaying the picture that He would have to be the One to make them clean. He had to wash the dirt away from their hearts just as He washed the dirt from their feet. And it's the same with us.
When we think of the price Jesus paid to cleanse us from all our unrighteousness, we tremble in fear. And we should. Once God shows us the depth of our sin and convicts us to repentance, we begin to see how we ought to walk with the humility that Christ did in the text here. The difference is that Jesus was only being the example, because He had nothing to be humble about. He was God then, just as He is now. We, however find ourselves with our faces to the ground when we realize how dirty we are, and how much Jesus had to clean us. And because we have been shown that Jesus has cleansed us just like He did His disciples feet, we see that His open arms are the only ones to run to.
----------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSkPc2gOLlE
Wednesday
Sometimes you need to let go
Grey Holiday - Let Go
I’ve been holding on
To things like dreams that never seem to die
And I’m not so strong to lay them down
And say my goodbyes
How do you say goodbye?
If there’s a remedy
A break from all my vanity
Then I’m gonna need Your help
If there is hope for me
Pull me down to my knees
Where I’m begging for Your help
To let go
It’s so unnatural
To let all that I’ve planned just slip away
But I would be a fool
To tighten up my hands and be afraid
What I need is faith
I’m walking right up to the edge
I’m bringing everything that’s left of me
I throw my self into Your love
You’ll be the one to lift me up again
As I let go
---------------
I love this song. I love this band.
Have you ever notices how often we get so involved with this life of ours, that we forget where our focus should remain. - The following auote is from Matthew Minor, the lead singer for Grey Holiday, about where this song came from. -
“Let Go” spawned directly from a struggle I was having with songwriting. I had just begun to co-write with some folks in Nashville and not many of my sessions had been very productive – all because of me. I desperately wanted to keep my music the way I wanted it. I was willing to ignore God’s inspiration if it meant I had control. So, Jason Ingram (producer and co-writer of The Glorious Revolution) and I were talking this through and the song “Let Go” was born from our conversation. I realized that I would never be able to follow God’s path if I continued to hold so tightly to my selfish desires. Every once in a while, songs can become therapy – this is one of them.'
I think this song is a wakeup call to us, that it is time to refocus on the only thing that we need.
Let this song be your therapy for the day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRNV0fRZM0w
I’ve been holding on
To things like dreams that never seem to die
And I’m not so strong to lay them down
And say my goodbyes
How do you say goodbye?
If there’s a remedy
A break from all my vanity
Then I’m gonna need Your help
If there is hope for me
Pull me down to my knees
Where I’m begging for Your help
To let go
It’s so unnatural
To let all that I’ve planned just slip away
But I would be a fool
To tighten up my hands and be afraid
What I need is faith
I’m walking right up to the edge
I’m bringing everything that’s left of me
I throw my self into Your love
You’ll be the one to lift me up again
As I let go
---------------
I love this song. I love this band.
Have you ever notices how often we get so involved with this life of ours, that we forget where our focus should remain. - The following auote is from Matthew Minor, the lead singer for Grey Holiday, about where this song came from. -
“Let Go” spawned directly from a struggle I was having with songwriting. I had just begun to co-write with some folks in Nashville and not many of my sessions had been very productive – all because of me. I desperately wanted to keep my music the way I wanted it. I was willing to ignore God’s inspiration if it meant I had control. So, Jason Ingram (producer and co-writer of The Glorious Revolution) and I were talking this through and the song “Let Go” was born from our conversation. I realized that I would never be able to follow God’s path if I continued to hold so tightly to my selfish desires. Every once in a while, songs can become therapy – this is one of them.'
I think this song is a wakeup call to us, that it is time to refocus on the only thing that we need.
Let this song be your therapy for the day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRNV0fRZM0w
Tuesday
I believe
Everyone is all jacked up about: you have to have a mission statement! What's your purpose? Where do you stand on this that and the other thing? What do you want to accomplish with your life?
How should I know? that's my response. I don't know what my mission statement is. I'm 22, I shouldn't have to worry about that right now. I've got other more pressing matters to think about like:
* what's for dinner?
* did I pay my cellphone bill?
* do I buy this cd or that?
* did I finish that assignment for class?
I'm not trying to avoid adulthood, but I'm content with living in the moment right now. To calm all those qualms out there, here it is.
I believe.
I believe that music is a release. Music is more than notes on the page. Music is a way to express yourself outside of the normal patterns. Music can speak in the silence of night. Music can speak in the shuffle of society. Music can say what the heart feels, before the mind can understand it. Music can create what words fail to.
I believe that my music is my most precious gift. My music is something that only I can give. Without my music this world would seem vacant. My music fills up the moments of monotony. My music is the one thing that I can turn to. The one thing that will never fail me. The one thing that will always comfort me. The one thing that I will always know.
How should I know? that's my response. I don't know what my mission statement is. I'm 22, I shouldn't have to worry about that right now. I've got other more pressing matters to think about like:
* what's for dinner?
* did I pay my cellphone bill?
* do I buy this cd or that?
* did I finish that assignment for class?
I'm not trying to avoid adulthood, but I'm content with living in the moment right now. To calm all those qualms out there, here it is.
I believe.
I believe that music is a release. Music is more than notes on the page. Music is a way to express yourself outside of the normal patterns. Music can speak in the silence of night. Music can speak in the shuffle of society. Music can say what the heart feels, before the mind can understand it. Music can create what words fail to.
I believe that my music is my most precious gift. My music is something that only I can give. Without my music this world would seem vacant. My music fills up the moments of monotony. My music is the one thing that I can turn to. The one thing that will never fail me. The one thing that will always comfort me. The one thing that I will always know.
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