Our God is Greater

It's been a long week.  I've been struggling with a lot of things, and they all seemed to be crashing in around me. I really wasn't sure what was going on, or where I was supposed to go from here.

I found my answer. I found what I've been looking for. I found my passion again. It's a slowly growing fire, but it's a fire nevertheless. It just needed some fuel. My fears and my pain is my fuel.




Physically I'm drained.
Emotional I'm strained.
Spiritually I'm unchained.

Through everything this week, I still have hope. I can't explain why I still have hope any other way than through Christ. I should have crumbled. I should have fallen apart completely. But, I didn't. I'm still standing. Everything came crashing in around me in literally two days. Since Saturday, it seems like everything has gone completely out of my control. It all started by my best friend and brother telling me this, in a text message, "WAKE UP! He doesn't want you to be afraid! HE. WAITS. FOR. YOU. TO. TRUST. IN. HIM."

I've been so afraid to trust in God completely with my life, that I was making myself fall even harder into depression and doubt. I was walking on a slippery slope. I was slowly walking to a place that I've been trapped before. I've struggled with depression before. I know what it's like to be stuck in the pit. I've always gone there and wallowed in my depression. Getting deeper and deeper into denial and doubt and dread. My body would literally fight against itself to stay there. At the time it would always be easier to stay there, rather than try to walk out. Because walking out would require effort, and sometimes more pain. When I would fall into my depression, I wouldn't want to face any more pain so I would shut down. It would take something dramatic to pull me out. I would get to the edge of what I could bear, and then I would let God take over. I would struggle and fight with Him, until I couldn't fight anymore.

That isn't how it's supposed to be. I wasn't trusting that He could care for me. I wasn't trusting that He could carry me when I was weak. I wasn't trusting that He was God. I wasn't trusting that He loved me. (Jeremiah 31:3 & John 3:16) I wasn't trusting that He would never leave or forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:8 & Hebrews 13:5) I wasn't trusting that He was all that I needed.

I have no need to be afraid when I have Christ. He supports me. He strengthens me. He leads me. He teaches me. He loves me. He knows me. He longs for me.

I was so caught up in my fear, my pain, my struggle that I turned from Him. I wasn't letting Him walk with me. I was trying to carry it all on my own. I was trying to figure everything out. I was trying to hold onto the desires that I had. I was afraid to lose what I had gained, that he finally took it from me. I had given my heart away, when it wasn't mine to give. It was His to have, and I was holding it from Him.

He deserves my heart. He deserves my devotion. He deserves my love. Not because He demands it, but because He desires it. Not because it is owed to Him, but because it is owned by Him. He deserves to have it completely and solely.

I've been listening to the latest Passion CD all day long. Passion: Awakening, has so many beautiful songs, but one song has filled my heart today. It's called "Our God (Is Greater)" *linked to youtube video* - It's an anthem of how amazing God is. The chorus rings out to me:

"Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. God, You are higher than any other. Our God is healer. Awesome in Power. Our God. Our God."

  That is our God. He is more than anything. He deserves our love. He deserves our hearts. He deserves our life. Because HE IS OUR GOD. the bridge builds in this song, and resonates in my heart:

"And if our God is for us. Then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us. Then what could stand against.'

So true!  Our God is always with us. He is always for us. He loves us. he wants to carry us, but we have to be willing to leave our hearts in His hands. We have to trust that He is for us. We have to trust that He is God. That He is greater. That He is stronger. That He is healer.

Amen and Amen!